


Tweek’s Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

by lordjenjen



Category: South Park
Genre: Cussing, Don't take it seriously, It's meant as a joke, M/M, Soft Gays Only, and if you do, no problematic problems, you're the problem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-10 23:38:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17435669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: Tweek wakes up just knowing it's not going to be a good day, and Cartman is there to prove him right.





	Tweek’s Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

 

It was just going to be one of those days. Nothing had happened yet. It was only 5am on a Thursday morning, but Tweek just knew. He could feel it. This wasn't what he needed though. If he started the day with a negative attitude, it would follow him all day. He knew he needed to nip these thoughts before they consumed him.

He got out of bed and started his day with an easy yoga routine followed by meditation, breathing in the relaxing fragrance filling his room. Somehow lavender oil ended up in his blend. He hated lavender. Tweek let out a steady breath as he came to accept it was just going to be a day.

He wasn't wrong. Cartman had had his third PC rebirth. And while Tweek was okay with the guy trying to better himself, he wasn't okay with any of Cartman's methods and ideas. He didn't want to better himself so much as he wanted others to better themselves and cater to his needs.

Some of Cartman's demands weren't too unacceptable, like maybe people shouldn't eat foods he shouldn't be eating around him while his mom forced him on a diet because he had terrible self-control. His friends all agreed not to eat garbage foods around Cartman but he didn't stop there. He demanded the entire cafeteria change its menu and everyone suffer with him. He'd yelled about how Kyle was oppressing his freedom of speech because he was asked to stop referring to Kenny as a Trap. But, at the same time, he had demanded Kyle stop calling him a Nazi because it was a hate word.

Lately though, he'd shoved his fat head into other people's relationships. He'd called Stan and Wendy's relationship problematic because they were both openly bisexual but with someone of the opposite gender, questioning their sexuality the entire time. He'd spent a week slut shaming Kenny while complaining about people slut shaming women. He'd even called Stan homophobic for finding Kenny attractive when he wore dresses, even though Stan found Kenny attractive out of dresses too.

Cartman was off his fucking rocker lately with the extreme PC bullshit to the point even the PC Frat boys were uncomfortable.

Today, it seemed Cartman had set his sights on Tweek. For the first thing he heard out of Java the Hut was a new nickname, “Rabid Tweek.”

“What the fucking hell does that mean!?” Tweek yelled. He wasn't mad, his voice would just raise in volume sometimes under stress, and Cartman's anti behavior was very stressful.

“Exactly that. You're practically foaming at the mouth with anger all the time. You're like a rabid dog. And honestly, this kind of behavior in a gay man such as yourself is homophobic.” Cartman nodded as if it was just a fact and he wasn't making shit up.

His little group agreed hurriedly.

“Oh yes!” One girl agreed. “Gay boys are supposed to be like sweet and soft and gentlemen.”

“Or tall and tough and handsome like a bad boy,” hollered another.

Tweek gritted his teeth. He shouldn't get into this; it was pointless. Like trying to get a Nazi to change on their ideology. But it was directed at him and he knew if he didn't stop this now, it'd get worse.

“But isn't that homophobic?” He tried to sound level, but it was difficult to hold back when he woke up pretty much wanting to fight. “You're just saying that two gay men have to fit into a feminine or masculine role-”

“Wow Rabid Tweek!” Cartman threw his hands up like he was being attacked. “It's pretty homophobic of you to act like gay men can't be feminine!”

“Gah! That's not-”

Tweek couldn't finish his sentence. Craig picked the man up around the waist and began carrying him away from the group.

“Rabid Tweek needs his boyfriend's protection!” Cartman yelled after him as his terrible laugh filled the halls.

“WHAT THE FUCKING HELL CRAIG!?” Tweek was yelling and he didn't care.

“Not worth getting into a fight on school grounds over.”

Craig set him down at his locker. He wasn't going to throw a punch. He was just discussing-

Nah. His temper was short today — he would have come to blows with the other and he knew it.

“I just-”

“Not on school grounds, babe. Just take a deep breath and try to remember what Doctor-”

“I don't fucking need your babying.”

Craig didn't say anything. Of course the master of “I'm in control of my emotions” would say nothing. It pissed Tweek off sometimes. He was lucky Jimmy and Clyde met up with them then. He took a few deep breaths through his nose and out through his mouth to help calm his nerves.

“Pop Quiz in chemistry, so I hear from the teachers aide.” Clyde announced.

Tweek hated chemistry. It was going to be a fucking day.

The pop quiz was on the bottom of most stressful moments. Throughout the day, Cartman, who was anti-bullying unless it was for the greater good, ganged up on Tweek with his posse at every opportunity. Even going as far as using his power point presentation project for computer class to show everyone how Rabid Tweek was incredibly problematic. It framed him in such a way that Tweek himself questioned his own actions.

Luckily Jimmy had that class with him. He cheered Tweek up a bit while pointing out flaws in Cartman's presentation. Tweek's anxiety wasn't problematic. Cartman was.

“Obviously what Cartman needs, is a good ass kicking!” Jimmy said too cheerfully. “I can't do it. It's in bad t-t-taste for a cripple to fight an abled body person because they aren't allowed to fight back.”

Tweek gave his friend a confused look. “Says who?”

Jimmy nodded his head towards Cartman. “Just like he can't fight Token, or Wendy either. Obviously.”

“He can't fight anyone, to be honest.”

“You guys shouldn't talk about people like that.” Tweek rolled his eyes. He recognized the guy next to him as one of Cartman's members from earlier. “He's not here to defend himself.”

“He just-”

“Cartman couldn't defend himself from a deh-deh-donut,” Jimmy's smile never left his face. “And you can tell him, we said that.”

Lunch was no better with Tweek trying to just enjoy himself. It's like Cartman's job was to try and chase Tweek away for a while. Tweek couldn't help but think Cartman probably thought it was his job. He knew somewhere in Cartman's twisted brain, he saw himself as the savior. The light of hope this town needed to get back in track with being PC.

But Tweek didn't know the full reason Cartman had chosen him. Was he sending a message to other gays? To others with anxiety? What was even the purpose!?

“Go away, Cartman.” Craig's stern voice was enough to shut Cartman up for a moment.

He covered up his fear with a smirk. “Whatever. You need your big bad boyfriend to protect you, don't you Tweek?”

Cartman turned and walked away before Tweek could respond.

By the time the school day was over, Tweek was ready to beat the living daylights out of Cartman, consequences be damned. All he'd gotten from people was “not on school grounds.” They were right. It wasn't worth the trouble to fight him at school.

The plan was to go to Jimmy's and place some new game. Tweek was just excited no one in or influenced by Cartman's gang would be there. As they crossed the street, Cartman hollered at him. Tweek gritted his teeth and ignored it. He didn't need this.

He yelled again causing some people, including Craig, to stop and look. Tweek powered on, telling himself just a little farther. A small crowd gathered by the time Cartman caught up.

“So, what's it going to be, Rabid Tweek? Have you realized how your actions are-”

Tweek let out a yell as he dropped his bag and swung at Cartman's face. Cartman held up his arms in defense, yelling for Tweek to stop.

Craig just leaned up against the building of the community center and smiled. He'd wanted to punch Cartman all week. But this was way better. Cartman managed to get a knee into Tweek's leg.

“Aren't you going to help your boyfriend?” Stan asked, obviously joyed at Cartman's asskicking.

“Why would I?”

“Because you're his boyfriend.”

“Nah. Tweek can hold his own. He's got a mean punch.”

He smiled as Tweek stood up and Cartman didn't. Tweek wiped a bit of sweat from his brow. “How's  _ that _ for rabid.”

“Feel better, boo?” Craig asked as he grabbed Tweek's hand to inspect his knuckles.

“Yeah.”

Craig smiled. He knew what he was doing. He was smoothing things over by playing up their softer side. He gently brushed his lips across Tweek's knuckles.

“Let’s go to my house and clean you up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Leave feed back if you want!


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